The Uber Experiment
I started as a rideshare driver as a way to make money and because I needed something to do. I didn’t expect to enjoy it. I didn’t expect to learn about myself. I didn’t expect to have so many wonderful conversations. I didn’t expect to make friends. For over one year, I drove people around Los Angeles and the surrounding area.
I’ve picked up and taken people to their homes, to work, concerts, sporting events, school, interviews, parties, dinner, drinks, and to meet up with friends… We’ve talked about pets, children, life, work, systemic change, homelessness, covid, moving to LA, dating, astrology, Survivor, things to do in LA, water conservation, and even singing together to my favorite songs and playlists (and yes, I took requests).
The Challenge
I remember my first ride. It was horrible. I received 1-star. I felt that was a little harsh, but I also had no idea what I was doing. I was still figuring out the app, and the car I rented. I parked too far from the pick up point. There was nowhere for me to pullover and there was a bus behind me. This is LA, I’m sure you heard about the traffic! The passenger eventually found me but was not happy. She made sure I knew. It never even dawned on me to tell her that this was my first ride and maybe she might have a bit of empathy for me? I had no idea that sometimes the pin is wrong and I should look for the person (dot) or that a person’s location may show that they are across the street, but I assure you they were not. No matter, I made her late for class. And that I understood, every ride is a person, with a life. These passengers are trusting the drivers with their lives and livelihood. After my first and only 1-star ride, I adjusted. With each ride I was able to learn to navigate the platform, adjust my settings so that I could focus on driving and reduce distractions. I learned to read energy better, to have light conversation, to sit in silence with a stranger, to pick up on social queues that I missed out on growing up in a religious cult. Over time, I started to think about being an Uber driver as an experiment, and a chance to resocialize myself. I challenged myself to do it for one year. To show myself that I could stick to something. I needed to get out of my apartment, I wanted to be present in the world. I fell in love with Los Angeles.
I approached driving as a way to:
- Make money. (1a. And survive in a capitalist society.)
- Dedicate 1 year of my time driving.
- A way to socialize and build my interpersonal skills.
Please note, I’m still actively trying to work towards 1a — if anyone has any helpful tips, please send them my way. The hustle of being a ride-share driver and the busyness of Los Angeles was not something that I took for granted. I thought to myself a lot, I don’t think I could do this anywhere else. I was grateful for a city full of people who had places to go and things to do. It was my job to transport them across the city, through traffic, and rain — safely and timely.
The Time & Dedication
In one year, I have driven over 23K miles across Los Angeles and given 2,500+ rides, including 1,000 5-star trips. I didn’t even drive full time. I’ve always been a highly-sensitive-person and eventually I needed to rest and recharge… and then quite literally recharge the car. I rented a Chevy Bolt. I learned to nap in the car while it was charging, but sometimes I walked to the beach, if I was near my favorite charger in Santa Monica. Other times I went to buy myself breakfast or lunch, a coffee or just exploring the city. It just depended on the day, time, and location. I learned a lot about myself, how to listen to my body and check-in with myself. But what astonishes me still to this day was how clearly people saw me.
I’ve had some of the best conversations with people during my time driving. At times I felt like a mom, a sister, a friend, a therapist, and a stranger; but that’s because I am all of those things to someone. I was able to show up and meet people where they are both literally and figuratively. I was also able to be myself, something that until being a rideshare driver I struggled with. I got compliments on my tattoos, my music, my energy and vibe. I felt so lucky to be able to connect with people. This was something that growing up I wasn’t able to really do. We were discouraged albeit forbidden to have friendships or any type of relationship with people who did not go to our “church”. I was taught that the world was a scary place full of people that were ultimately “bad” because they didn’t go to our “church”. But that wasn’t my religion anymore, and it sure wasn’t my belief. From my experience, the world wasn’t a scary place — it was full of opportunities and was waiting to be discovered. I had met so many wonderful people and so many of them were kind.
I have struggled in my everyday life with interpersonal relationships, mostly because I wasn’t allowed to have them growing up. Then when I became an adult, I was stuck in cycles of abuse and unhealthy attachment styles. This experiment would be a test and a testament to how much I’ve healed and grown as a person.
Being Present & Focused
I started driving because I wasn’t ready to start my job search. I just completed my third year as a contractor with a community organization that I started working at in 2020, while I worked towards my master’s degree in Social Innovation, simultaneously as a single mom, graduate assistant, research fellow, and freelance graphic designer/creative director. I was burnt out. I had no idea what I wanted to do next and I needed time to figure that out. Additionally I started EMDR therapy a few months prior and I was having major breakthroughs and I needed to stay committed to healing. Some days were better than others; it felt like the past, present, and future were all mixed up and were happening all at once. At least that’s how my mind and body felt. I was healing core beliefs about myself. Things I was conditioned to believe based on how I was socialized and a negative self-view that developed because of abuse. It became hard for me to stay in the present moment, in the present work, in the present world. I needed to get out of my apartment and experience the world, to live life without an agenda and without restrictions.
I’ll never forget when I realized that I was in fact, a “people-person”. I always thought that I didn’t like people; interacting with them, meeting them, or introducing myself. Now I understand that as a highly sensitive person, putting myself in situations where I had to interact or network when I was already depleted was the problem. I actually love people. I enjoy connecting and interacting. When I changed my approach with my passengers and let them lead the conversation, that’s when my wall came down. I didn’t have to control the narrative, I didn’t care about judgement, for all I knew I would never see these people again. I’ve shared laughter and joy, frustration and fear with my passengers. I’ve been witnessed as a talented, creative, funny, and smart person. I’ve been asked if I was a singer, in a band, an actress, and a comedian to name a few; and for a while I wondered if I should pursue entertainment — I am in LA after all.
When I was driving, I was fully present in the moment. My mind wasn’t on deadlines or bills, it wasn’t overthinking about whether or not someone liked me. All I had to do was drive someone from point A to point B, maybe pick up someone on the way or make an extra stop. I followed directions, paid attention to the traffic and cars around me, depending on the passenger we would talk or sit in silence and sometimes there was music. Our interactions with others are a reflection of ourselves. My passengers saw me clearly, because I allowed them to. I felt safe and comfortable enough to just be myself; so I was.
When I first started driving, I remember that I felt self-conscious and was fearful about being judged. What would the people who I worked with previously think of me as a ride-share driver? Is there something wrong with me because I’m driving people around and I have a master’s degree? Then I thought about immigrants who come to this country as doctors or teachers and drive cabs, etc. I remember having a conversation with one of my passengers, explaining that I was doing this while I figured some things out… and she responded, “I don’t trust anyone who hasn’t had an in-between job” that is to say a job you have to do in order to survive that has nothing to do with your education or experience. With my background in community engagement, I started to think about driving as a way to be in community and show up for people. What I didn’t realize initially, was that I was learning to show up for myself, by taking care of my needs first. I remain humble and grateful for the opportunities that life has afforded me, and I’m looking forward to integrating the lessons I learned as a ride-share driver into the next chapter of my life and work.
